Motivated 12-Month-Old Seeks New Opportunities

So I just had to share this because it’s not just hilariously well-written and such a lovely way to, perhaps, air some frustration in a “constructive” way – but seriously, I’m thinking that’s a little genius kid 🙂

Dear Hiring Manger,

I am pleased to submit my application for your Part Time Kitchen Assistant vacancy. I have 12 months of strong background in the home kitchen industry. My current supervisor’s selfish need to make me breakfast and hand scrub my sippy cups has resulted in an ability to work independently and make high-level decisions with minimal supervision. Although I am grateful for the experience I’ve been afforded, I am seeking a new environment where creativity and innovation are celebrated, instead of met with exasperated sighs.

I am confident you will see that my application outshines that of my peers. Here are just a few examples of some strengths I bring to the table:

  • Maintain impeccable cleanliness standards through the identification and consumption of stray pieces of dog food, remnants from last night’s dinner, and other varia.
  • Assist in loading and unloading the dishwasher wherever applicable. Recognized for expertise…

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